Support Group

Last night I attended my first Breast Cancer Support Group.  It wasn't quite what I had expected.  Although there was a large group of women present, ranging in ages 30 to 70+, I found the majority of comments a bit condensing in nature.  To be honest I was disappointed; from the conversations I have had (with nurses and my doctor), the group would be embracing, supportive and each women attending would make a "connection".  I don't feel I connected to anyone.

When asked about my greatest fear, I opened up and revealed "the loss of my hair", I was bombarded with comments such as "your hair does not define you", "your hair should be the least of your problems", "your hair will grow back", etc., etc.  I had hoped for sympathetic comments like, "I know that fear and I support you", or "I would love to help you overcome this fear". I felt uncomfortable and was not able to voice my opinion on those head wraps. Each of those women just raved about the scarves and all the fabulous ways to wrap one's head. I don't want to wear that "badge of honor". I don't want to be identified as "having cancer".  The one comment most condensing, "you hair doesn't define you". I'm not stupid, I know my hair doesn't define me, but my hair is tied to my comfort zone, my security, my self-esteem.

What do I want from this group? I would love to make new friends to assist me in my journey through those long months of chemo and radiation.  Will I attend the next meeting? Give this support group a second chance? I don't honestly know. Deep down, I want this group to work for me, I want that "connection".